How To Stop Yelling At Kids When Overwhelmed

This seems simple and it works. When you’re kids are acting up just watch them. Next, notice the judgments (thinking like-what are they doing, why are they doing this, its almost time for school this is ridiculous, why don't they listen) you’re having in your head about how it should or shouldn’t be like below:

Kids are throwing balls in the house

My brain: “WOW, this is crazy. Why don’t they listen? I’ve said it 100 times to stop throwing balls in the house. This is really unbelievable.”

I noticed how minute by minute my body would start to respond. Id get hot, uncomfortable, feel hurried in my chest, stop breathing.

Me: “Guys, please go outside with the balls, no throwing in the house.”

Continued throwing balls in the house

My brain: OH MY G this is unbelievable, how many times do I have to tell them, I’m really getting mad now. Ugh of course today couldn’t be a good day..what am I going to do with them later, how can I manage this all day long, this is CRAZY, is it lunch time? I have to get out of here. WHY ARENT THEY STOPPING!!

Now I’m coming up on full on rage in my body.

Me: “YELL-STOP THROWING BALLS IN THE HOUSE”

My reaction was from all the revved up beliefs and thoughts about my kids and WHAT they SHOULD OR SHOULDN’T be doing. The story about what was happening INSIDE MY HEAD. Without all the thinking my brain was doing ABOUT throwing balls in the house I am totally calm. I am centered, grounded and in control. I don’t feel any urge to yell at all because I don’t THINK it should be different. I don’t think anything at all. I tell my kids “Stop throwing balls in the house” if they do they do if they don’t the next step is taken from a calm centered place of rules and not reactions.